I ranted a whole lot to C today about V and his job and how our fights centred around it.
For example, if he falls asleep 3 minutes into our Skype call, it can’t be helped because he’s tired from work and I shouldn’t get angry.
For example, if he goes out for drinks and get home late, it can’t be helped because he never goes out for drinks with his friends and I shouldn’t get angry.
For example, if he doesn’t reply immediately – or after 5 hours/1 day/5 days etc., it can’t be helped because he’s busy with work/out in the jungle/diving/parachuting and I shouldn’t get angry.
Every single time I get angry, it’s a l w a y s about his job.
C then told me that what if you guys get married and he might not be there at our child’s birth, their first steps, first words, first day of school…. Then it hit me, can I do this on my own? I used to think that I can do this because it’s been almost 3 years and its a part of my life. Then children had to come in the picture.
But do I love him enough?