5 years…

…Since my Grandma passed away and I’ve only dreamt about her once.

It was about her and my Ah Kong buying fish for me to eat. We were in their Toa Payoh home but instead of everything in colour/black and white, it was white and only the dining table was in colour. Guessing I’m in heaven with them. My favorite steamed promfet with tofu all laid out for me while they watch me eat and fed me from time to time. Vividly remember I was crying and telling them not to leave me after I’ve eaten the fish. They left. They had to leave and I was just left crying.

Waking up and realizing its a dream made me relieved – one, because I know they’re doing well in heaven. But I also realised that they’re gone.

I felt like I wasn’t the most loved grandchild my grandparents had(because they couldn’t remember my name but remember all 9 others) even though I visited them the most and always remember a  kiss goodbye whenever I left their home.

Off to Mandai tomorrow.  V told me he said hello. I asked why and he said, “Nothing, just wanna say hello to your grandparents – seeing they played a part of bringing you up.”




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