21 things – I got a email about this!

1. Regardless of his height, he is comfortable with the way he looks around you. You don’t have to date a guy who is taller than most, but he can’t be someone who is threatened to be seen with you.

He’s perfect at 175. Since I’m an avid slouch, it works out fine. We’ll be at the same height in bed anyways. 😉

2. He genuinely makes you laugh (because he is funny, not because you think he is attractive and want to flatter him), and not a self-conscious little giggle, either. He makes you belly laugh and choke on your own laughter and tear up with laughter and laugh so hard you think you’re going to pee yourself.

His coffee shop/ah beng English as compared to my queen’s English. The difficulty he has pronouncing Daniela. His macho voice I force him to make because its suppose to make him more handsome – he’ll say whats the use.

3. He loves your laugh, even your “ugly” laugh.

My laughs are all unappealing.

4. He remembers little things about you, even things that other people might consider unimportant or too minor. He knows what your favorite dish at the Thai place is. He knows what movie you two watched on your first date. He knows the blanket you love to curl up with when you’re reading.

He remembers the days I wash my hair, my off days and what I like-like, if you know what I mean

5. Whether or not he has the same taste in music or movies as you, he is always willing to try something new that you really like, or that neither of you have seen before.

Watched a local movie and didn’t realise he didn’t like it till the end. “I saw you laughing so heartily, I just watch along lor.” I listened to Bananrama. Done deal.

6. He doesn’t put you down for liking what you like.

ALTHOUGH he despises my baby pillow….. He hugs me, hugging my baby pillow to sleep.

7. You always feel welcome around his friends, even if they aren’t the people that you would hang out with every day, and they are always friendly and open to you. There is never a point at which you feel like there is “your boyfriend” and then “the person he is around his friends.”

This is perfect because he really doesn’t have much friends. Hur hurrr.

8. His family is not perfect, because no one is, but they try their best and are good people and you feel comfortable around them.

Family in HK, he lives alone. Don’t know if this is a good thing or not.

9. He does not cheat on you, would never cheat on you, and doesn’t even give the vague, nagging suspicion that he might cheat on you at some point in the future. Regardless of the problems you may encounter, being betrayed like is simply not a possibility.

For one, he doesn’t have the time and energy to cheat on me. Thank you SAF. He lets me go out, for a girls’ night out, but I know he has his insecurities due to the drunk texting I did before – don’t blame him for that. I know my limits and I feel guilty for hanging out late and end up coming home early. Sober.

10. His vision of the future is very similar to yours, or at least is flexible enough to adjust to what you both may end up wanting. (Wasting time with someone who does not want what you want, and never will, is unfair to both of you.)

He says I must take care of him and he’ll be the househusband. I’m actually cool with that as long as I get to drive his Mercedes SLK.

11. He has a healthy relationship with going out, drinking, and socializing. He is neither completely dependent or absolutely uncomfortable with either of those things.

Lets just say that my boyfriend and I have a very very different relationship.

12. With him you are comfortable both going out together and spending time separately with your individual groups of friends — there is no need to be constantly joined at the hip, for fear that he may stray or any other reason.

Take 2 weeks absence – with no idea when he left, where he went and when he’s gonna come back, to make me learn….. Learn to understand his job. Learn to be alone. Learn to love him more.

13. He is willing to consider long-distance if it has to be done for a certain period of time, but at least ultimately has plans to be near you (because no matter how good it is, long-distance can’t last forever).

ITS ALREADY LIKE LONG DISTANCE. This sucks. I shouldn’t have started this.

14. He doesn’t have hang-ups or judgments about your body, and shows all of it affection and attention. You don’t feel ugly or uncomfortable around him, nor that you are not good enough for him physically.

That is why I love love love love him. Asked for a boob job and he said he’s fine with it. Then I asked him to pay and he replied, “why would I wanna pay for something I don’t want.” From then on, I stopped nagging about my itty bitty titties. Raw face on skype, mouth open when I fall asleep and the most embarrassing – “metal music”. He’s a keeper.

15. He has similar religious views to you — or lack thereof — or is willing to accept that you’re both different. Few things manifest in more ugly ways than the small seeds of disagreement over fundamental beliefs like religion.

He nagged on why I haven’t been to church. Then said sorry he couldn’t go with me.

16. He is open-minded, and not just about things that he doesn’t really care about. Even for more important subjects like politics or culture, he is able to listen to others and give meaningful responses without being petty or childish.

He makes sense. Period.

17. He is mature and comfortable about the human body and all of its weird functions, and doesn’t make a big deal out of things that happen naturally. Instead of feeling uncomfortable when something weird happens during sex, for example, you both just laugh.

“I wanna go shit. Tummyache.” GO LA. “So painful.” “Ok shitting” “Done. So shiok now.” Maybe its a guy thing.

18. He doesn’t make fun of you if you say you are offended or upset by something he says. He is actually capable of thinking about the consequences of his words and understanding that not all hurt is inflicted physically.

He’s usually right – cos…. He is. Not because he forces it upon me but its true. I get angry and he explains and I just shut up.

19. He votes, and understands why it’s important.

He’s an old man…..

20. He is attractive (to your own individual standard), but the vast majority of your interest in him stems from things other than what he looks like.

So so so attractive ;D

21. He respects himself enough to want all of these things from you, too.

Let’s not go there, okay?

This weekend I discovered BitTorrent. It is beyond amazeballs.

New iPod Nano 7th Gen in RED and an engraving, of my favourite quote by E.E. Cummings, I carry your heart with me (I carry it in my heart). Thank you thank you thank you baobei!!

Bf was home 2 days(not consecutively) the past week. San Diego next week for a day, or two. He’ll fly back after 4 hours in the city. My brain hurts from calculating the hours. Just another test of my patience again really. At least I’ll know where he is this time round. Maybe the 2nd time I know where he actually is. Good? Bad?

Maybe, just maybe, if we get married…. Nah, I should just think seeing each other everyday for a week is my goal.

I miss you so much.


Pour Vous

It’s 6 am and I want to be lying next to you
with out hands locked together,
and our legs intertwined.

I want your face buried in my neck,
and I want to listen to your breathing.

I want you to wake up and tell me
“I’m so tired”
because I want to whisper
“Go back to sleep”
and I want to hold you tighter when you do.

I want to lie in bed alone with you,
in the comforting quiet of the early morning hours,
and maybe read a book while you sleep.

I want to be simple with you,
and I want to be whatever you need me to be.

Giving Thanks

It was Thanksgiving yesterday and I’ve never celebrated it before or shown appreciation upon it. But its different this year because I have lots and lots of things to be thankful for.

Didn’t have the traditional Thanksgiving dinner but if eating fish and rice alone is close enough. 2011 to 2012, and then realising the meaning of Thanksgiving, so many things have happened. 365(almost) days just whizzed passed and 2013 is in 1.5 months away. That’s when I’ll be a year older and I pray to be wiser.

This year, I’m thankful for my parents for their continuous support – seeing me to graduation. Especially my mom. YES IN 2012, I FINALLY GRADUATED!! Let’s be frank, without them I’ll be no where I am today. All the flying around the world the past 20 years will definitely amount to a lot of money. Thank you mom and dad for this amazing, nothing more I could ask for having this opportunity. Thank you for bringing me to see the world and see how it really looks like.

I’m also thankful V for being NOT being a stereotype man I thought that they were. Maybe because he’s older and wiser and have gone through a lot in his life. Thankful for him being alive. Thankful for STAYING alive. Thankful for meeting him. Thankful for everything he’s done for/said to me. 1 year together feels like eternity with his constant absence but its getting a little easier now. So happy he believes in me whenever I nag about work and how stressful and tiring(but at the back of my head, its nothing as compared to his). Proud of me when my sales pitch got through and the praises I’ve received. Loves my small eyes and raw face when I don’t put makeup. Forever his “pwetty bao” – which makes me so shy hehe. Wow this paragraph is longer than my parents’ one!

My boss. The best I’ve come across. Doing everything from A to Z. In awe of her persistence to do the business and the optimism she channels during work. Its one hell of a tiring job to bake and also to manage the shop but really, a job well done. Sticking with her in the long run will do me good, somehow. Trusting me to take over operations will be a plus but I’m grateful to be in this journey with her, bringing the business to better light. One of the may reasons why I chose baking as a career is to see people’s faces light up when they eat your product. When they talk about how amazing it is. Especially if they tell their friends and their friends tell their friends. Job satisfaction, I call it.

Today is Black Friday and that means F21 is giving an extra 50% off!!! Just checked out of Jipaban and that was the fastest I’ve ever shopped!

Waiting for V to get home…. Again.


5 years…

…Since my Grandma passed away and I’ve only dreamt about her once.

It was about her and my Ah Kong buying fish for me to eat. We were in their Toa Payoh home but instead of everything in colour/black and white, it was white and only the dining table was in colour. Guessing I’m in heaven with them. My favorite steamed promfet with tofu all laid out for me while they watch me eat and fed me from time to time. Vividly remember I was crying and telling them not to leave me after I’ve eaten the fish. They left. They had to leave and I was just left crying.

Waking up and realizing its a dream made me relieved – one, because I know they’re doing well in heaven. But I also realised that they’re gone.

I felt like I wasn’t the most loved grandchild my grandparents had(because they couldn’t remember my name but remember all 9 others) even though I visited them the most and always remember a  kiss goodbye whenever I left their home.

Off to Mandai tomorrow.  V told me he said hello. I asked why and he said, “Nothing, just wanna say hello to your grandparents – seeing they played a part of bringing you up.”